I asked him if he wanted to come here some weekend and party with me and my girlfriend and then I showed him what you look like.’ ‘He sure saw that, for sure.’ ‘Well, you could back out any time you wanted, any time you felt uncomfortable.’ ‘You really want this, don’t you?’ ‘Look, if you’re dead set against it, then I’ll drop the whole thing.’ ‘When we talk about it, I get excited, then, later and all, well, I wonder what I’m getting into.’ ‘Well, I can have him come have dinner with us, maybe LeBistro, that’s one you like and it’s kind of romantic and dark. Have dinner, then see. You can back out whenever you want, hon.’ ‘God, what would I do, I mean, if he seemed nice and all, then back here, what exactly am I supposed to do?’ ‘Well, maybe a little strip tease? You’ve done it for me, you’re really hot when you strip for me.’ ‘I just couldn’t.’ ‘Well, how would you want to do it?’ ‘Uh, well, I’d just have to try to start it alone. Oh, not alone, what I mean is this guy and me, take. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got runnin’ water!” The third hillbilly said “My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin’ there ... and she ain’t even got a dick!”At a wedding party recently someone yelled “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living”. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.I heard a story about a guy who got a call from his doctor the day after a visit. From what I gathered, the doctor says “I hate to tell you this, but I have bad news and worse news”. Dude asks what the bad news is, doctor goes “you have 24 hours to live”. Dude asks in a terrified voice what the worse news.
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